Reading Robert Bly - Iron John - a strong medicine for me. I already did go through a men's initiation - with The Mankind Project - and am quite grateful for the mentorship and direction, ability to access wounds, attain better emotional literacy, get support from other men, and practice "inner work" techniques like psychodrama and the type of supportive group healing work they practice.
But the Bly writing brings up more.
Like my "wound" -- Immediately, I recognize that the immature or infantile attitude that the boy - myself - got wounded for had to do with him working "whenever he wanted to" or whenever he felt like it. And that deep unhealthy resonance still carries itself into my day - th idea that *I* can decide when and how and exactly how I am going to do the work that I have agreed to do in the world -- as though there's not just shit sometimes that has to get done and I'm the one agreed or in the role to do it!! -- I see it with the landscaping and
another place I "dip my wound into the water" has to do with abandonment - needing constant reassurance from other women, from girls, coddling, reassurance, touch, that I am accepted and not abandoned.
Just some places that I tend to "dip my wound in the water" from time to time.
'Cause I know exactly where and when my Father "hit me with the axe" as Bly says and it is exactly that wound around Work...
Judgement and criticism, yes, that also - another "broken leg" of my childhood -
but it's that *Work* piece - that "stepping up to responsibility - that I really feel I could let go of.
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