Who I Am in My Garden – A Vision of my Future

The Garden I tend is a public garden. It is also a garden on land that I feel ownership with. It is an intro garden for a center where people come to explore and be introduced to a new way of living and being – a center of love and light and life and healing and possibility. I am not the supervisor for the whole – but I do tend the Garden and sculpt it  and have a part in the medicinal herbs section as well as in the pollinator plantings in the background – a more “behind the scenes’ personhood that is deeply supportive to the Bees presence and system in the Center.

Off to the side is my own section – organization, office, and headquarters to the goings-on of the section fo the Center that I am part of.

I facilitate and produce performances and productions that come through this Center. I call out the goings-on of the performance center and conect its relevance to and with the relevance of the World – I am the two-way mirror between what is unfolding at the Center – that I am guiding – and the goings-on of the world.

I wonder out into the world to listen, to observe, to sense the state of the World in silence, observe, taste, Know. to Know where the World is and who she tastes and smells like. Then I can silently Guide the archetypal satings of the Chosen Ones. I am a Filter between a Wolrd Mind and the People I Tend. I can be the game-place-keeper, the one who Places the People in the Narrative.

I make a living at this. I write about the Placement of People in the Narrative of the World.

We First Need a Myth-Thread – and that is Created from the Sacred Marriage of Vision and of Service. Service through Listening, Knowing, silently ... Vision through Madness, Dream, Intensity, Manic Inward Creativity... Where the Two Meet is the Crux, the Golden Key.

Director of the Center for Archetypal Presence, Archetypal Production

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What is the Myth-Thread for the Earthaven Experience?

Letter to S—, Clarifying What I'm Good at and Where I Want to Be Going

S—,

I’ve been giving it some thought, and determined that what I’m truly good at is networking, communications, listening, aesthetic digital design, research, understanding systems, personal and interpersonal guidance and imparting knowledge, copy (or writing), language, lyricism and verse, melody and song, spiritual presence, enthusiasm and connection, group leadership, initiative and startup energy, management, blogging-observation-and-reflection, brainstorming, activism and political causes,  clerical organization, group presentations, public speaking, contemplation and reflection, storytelling, imparting a sense of wonder and reflection, movement, dance, athleticism, theatrical interpretation, improvisation, negotiation, diplomacy, presence, empathy, intuition, and rapport.

I am a great lover of nature, mythology, and the psyche, and of cultural and ecological literacy towards liberation and clarity, resilient futures, and the alleviation of suffering.

When I do physical work – which I like to do – I am best in modest increments and need to be well-fed. Two three-hour blocks of time are the comfortable limits of my body and being, three days a week being by preferred limit at that amount of labor.  Of course that needs support from organization, uniform (clothing for hard dirty work), hygene, nutritious meals preparation and grocery shopping, administration and invoicing, design (minimal but still needed), planning, client interface and communications, purchasing of materials and maintenance of tools, truck, and of self-care such as yoga, massage and medicine.

When properly fueled and rolling, I can accomplish a lot of physical work in a small amount of time, but I tend to become exhausted if I work fast, but bored if I work slowly.

My challenges are memorization (I have to make lists and organize them), steady, ongoing, heavy physical labor (I get bored, exhausted, and my body is not particularly stocky, plus my joints hurt), logistics (e.g. best-guessing multiple possible spatial-temporal events ahead of time). I also have several personal projects that I want to devote time to, and believe in, but that do not earn much money as of yet and that is always a challenge in terms of what to give my time and energy to.

If I had my d’ruthers I would be doing performance production, along with land-and-soil-based permaculture manifestation on personal property, along with a supplemental income doing counseling, workshops, or teaching. On top of that I am manic to somehow continue to produce songs and work with musical production, as well as be politically active towards positive bioregional futures. When I don’t feel like I have the resources to do all that, I get short of breath, and that possibility leaves me feeling despondent and exhausted. But I will somehow roll them all in, and if I succeed I believe I will have a sense of living my purpose on Earth that will be so deeply satisfying that I will die a happy man. May it come to pass and let it be true.   

Hustle

I'm starting to hustle. I know that so many times my life purpose is been to "teach ecology" – and I really hesitate to jump on board to "public teaching" bandwagon. But the world of performance art, and venues, and some sort of moneymaking through maybe appearing as guest artists at schools… It's all so muddled and feels like a really challenging source of income or livelihood for me at the moment. Landscaping is very possible and I generally enjoy the work… But there's some sort of piece of pure creative self-expression that I don't really have satisfied with that – and I don't enjoy the design work pretty hard for me I really have to push. Maybe if I just got that done one day and then have the rest of the time to play putting plants and that would be really sweet.

I'm so passionate about story, and I came up with this "aesthetic interpersonal creative leadership and embodiment" sort of task mission for myself recently. Other task missions include "teach ecology", "make the ecologies sacred", "initiate people into the idea of the ecologically sacred", and "ecology, psychology, story, and art".

At the moment, I really need to make money, and I'm looking hard in the face of another season with the Faerie Troupe.  My tendency is to really want everything – and I mean everything – to fall together in some sort of cohesive, short and long term, highest directional way – it incorporates all my future goals, all my interests and passions, and all my skills and somehow magically formulate perfect direction. I really wish for that. 

And then, there's always other things in my Mind. Website design, computer fix-it ups, again, more random landscaping, it's like little floaty bit disorganized. It's really really important for me to organize – both with near-term future low hanging fruit and with any sort of long-term picture. I know it's all creation, but in my imagination it could all work together. Taxes, this 26 hour per week job that's open, fixing up my truck. Those are pretty important right now. I'm really really appreciative of Tad Hargraves blog – "marketing for hippies" – it's really helping me focus. And I also see that I go between like, a day of flow and real feeling of achievement, and then a day of muddled mess where I just want to get high and crave caffeine in ganja all these things… I'm not sure if that's just the way it is but I look for a deeper inner peace around these changes – and the awareness to see patterns if there are any. And the support of people to see what I cannot. I really want that. And of course my ongoing fascination with intuition – my magical relationships with gaia, the plant beings and trees, dreams, oracles, these intuitions I put a lot of stock in partly because they just tickle my fancy. That's really good reason to go into a counseling or into this profession.… And of course I could just incorporate that into anything. So many possibilities – I'm really grateful for life and all of these Beautiful things. I'm so excited about this and I feel lifted my heart – perhaps partly because of the butter black tea with salt and milk that I'm drinking at the moment, but it's a true feeling. :)