Hustle

I'm starting to hustle. I know that so many times my life purpose is been to "teach ecology" – and I really hesitate to jump on board to "public teaching" bandwagon. But the world of performance art, and venues, and some sort of moneymaking through maybe appearing as guest artists at schools… It's all so muddled and feels like a really challenging source of income or livelihood for me at the moment. Landscaping is very possible and I generally enjoy the work… But there's some sort of piece of pure creative self-expression that I don't really have satisfied with that – and I don't enjoy the design work pretty hard for me I really have to push. Maybe if I just got that done one day and then have the rest of the time to play putting plants and that would be really sweet.

I'm so passionate about story, and I came up with this "aesthetic interpersonal creative leadership and embodiment" sort of task mission for myself recently. Other task missions include "teach ecology", "make the ecologies sacred", "initiate people into the idea of the ecologically sacred", and "ecology, psychology, story, and art".

At the moment, I really need to make money, and I'm looking hard in the face of another season with the Faerie Troupe.  My tendency is to really want everything – and I mean everything – to fall together in some sort of cohesive, short and long term, highest directional way – it incorporates all my future goals, all my interests and passions, and all my skills and somehow magically formulate perfect direction. I really wish for that. 

And then, there's always other things in my Mind. Website design, computer fix-it ups, again, more random landscaping, it's like little floaty bit disorganized. It's really really important for me to organize – both with near-term future low hanging fruit and with any sort of long-term picture. I know it's all creation, but in my imagination it could all work together. Taxes, this 26 hour per week job that's open, fixing up my truck. Those are pretty important right now. I'm really really appreciative of Tad Hargraves blog – "marketing for hippies" – it's really helping me focus. And I also see that I go between like, a day of flow and real feeling of achievement, and then a day of muddled mess where I just want to get high and crave caffeine in ganja all these things… I'm not sure if that's just the way it is but I look for a deeper inner peace around these changes – and the awareness to see patterns if there are any. And the support of people to see what I cannot. I really want that. And of course my ongoing fascination with intuition – my magical relationships with gaia, the plant beings and trees, dreams, oracles, these intuitions I put a lot of stock in partly because they just tickle my fancy. That's really good reason to go into a counseling or into this profession.… And of course I could just incorporate that into anything. So many possibilities – I'm really grateful for life and all of these Beautiful things. I'm so excited about this and I feel lifted my heart – perhaps partly because of the butter black tea with salt and milk that I'm drinking at the moment, but it's a true feeling. :)